July 12, 2005
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-- Ringing Up Profits
-- Prefer a printed version of the book?
-- Answer to Last Month's Redneck Riddle™
-- From the classified ads file . . .
-- Good thing he borrowed Festus' truck
-- Don't take it personally if I don't shake your hand
-- For the incontinent who has everything
-- Ironclad Guarantee
-- Meet the entire Yellow Pages Commando Staff
-- Marketing 101
-- This Week's Redneck Riddle™
-- Quote of the Week

Ringing Up Profits
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Do you remember the contest for the World's Best Yellow Pages Ad? Well, I've compiled the surprising results into a book.

As promised, I am giving you a copy. The link below will allow you to download your copy.

Here's a sneak peek.

"Ringing Up Profits in the Yellow Pages - Insider Secrets for Creating Yellow Pages Ads that Make Customers Call!"

Yellow Pages advertising is a $25 billion industry worldwide. So why is it so poorly understood by advertisers? Unlike most other media, Yellow Pages is dominated by unsophisticated, local advertisers.

The entire process is driven by directory advertising salespeople who are compensated primarily for increasing the amount the advertiser spends over the previous year. The skills that make a salesperson successful by this measure are rarely accompanied by a strong understanding of, and dedication to, effective ad design.

The goal of this book is to empower both advertisers and Account Executives to create ads that generate more calls.

This report is the product of nearly a thousand contributors. Designers and copywriters showed off their incredible talents. Industry experts and luminaries shared years of experience, insights and wisdom. Voters put forth their thoughts and opinions, and they certainly have opinions!

I've included nearly all of it. It has been edited a little for readability, but you're seeing the whole tomato.

Some of the comments are particularly nasty, some totally outrageous, and others are downright blasphemous. And yet, by reading the feedback, we gain a greater insight into the buying public's mind.

Enjoy,
Dick Larkin

Download your copy of "Ringing Up Profits in the Yellow Pages"

Prefer a printed version of the book?
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I am getting quotes on printing this book. If you are interested in a pre-order discount, please drop me a note at Dick@ypcommando.com

Answer to Last Month's Redneck Riddle™
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Buford T. Dingleberry's wife gave birth to Buford Jr. and his brother Scurvy in the same hour of the same day of the same year.

But Buford Jr. and Scurvy ain't twins. How can this be?

Loads of folks thought this was a careful timing trick by having synchronized births 11 months apart or so.

Nope. Check the answer . . .

See the Answer & the Celebrity Winner of Win the Yellow Pages War.

From the classified ads file . . .
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Good thing he borrowed Festus' truck
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Buford had a remarkably short career as a lumberjack.

Don't take it personally if I don't shake your hand
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I suppose the business name "The Turdinator" was taken.

For the incontinent who has everything
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In case you're wondering what to get me for my birthday.

Ironclad Guarantee
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Whatever happened to "How's my driving?"

Meet the entire Yellow Pages Commando Staff
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I'm bringing the entire editorial staff of the Yellow Pages Commando News to Kelsey Group's Directory Driven Commerce Conference.

It's September 27-29, 2005 in Denver, Colorado.

It's where the thought leaders of local media gather to chart the future of the Yellow Pages. (Hint: it ain't all paper and ink).

More about DDC2005

Marketing 101
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This Week's Redneck Riddle™
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Buford T. Dingleberry stumbled across something and can't figure out what it's for.

Could you give ol' Buford a clue?

Special thanks to Adam Strange of AdRevamp.com for sending me this Redneck Riddle™.

Email your answer to 129@redneckriddles.com

The winner will receive 15 minutes of uninterrupted fame.

I'll also select one winner to receive a paperback version of "Win the Yellow Pages War" by Kerry Randall. I only have a couple of the bound versions, but I offer the eBook on my YPcommando.com web site.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name, and mailing address.

I draw the winner the day before I send the following newsletter, so keep voting until the polls close.

What the heck, I'm feeling generous, so this week I'll also throw in a copy of the Wisdom of Ginsu. An insider's view of the creation of a great American success story.

Wisdom of Ginsu (more)

Quote of the Week
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"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war..." - Chris Rock