Love the One You're With

Love the One You're With back to top
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"And if you can't be with the one you love, Honey, love the one you're with"

- Stephen Stills (1970)

I was sitting on an airplane last week next to James, a gentleman who runs a multi-state residential services organization. He was chuckling as he watched me sifting through photos for this newsletter and he asked what kind of business I was in. He said he thought I was working for Mad Magazine.

We started discussing Yellow Pages, and he told me that he had gotten into a lawsuit with a major utility publisher (who shall remain nameless). I'll only say that their name rhymes with horizon.

He was so upset with the publisher over an issue that he pulled all of his ads and did not renew his substantial contract with them.

Full Disclosure: Although my company competes with that publisher, I don't like hearing about bad experiences with any directory publisher.

He told me that his knee-jerk reaction in canceling his ads backfired. Although most of his business was referral based, he found that customers were calling his competitors instead of him. The customers opened the Yellow Pages with the intention of calling him.

But when his customers opened the directory, James' competitors' ads caught their attention. They never made it past the ads to James' listing.

They read the information from James' competitors that was available to them, and James lost out because he was missing in action. He asked me what I thought.

I cleared my throat and in my best Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young voice, I belted out a few lines . . .

"And if you can't beeeeeee with the one you love, Honey, love the one you're with. Love the one you're with."

He looked at me as if I had lost my mind. In fact, half of the plane looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

After a momentary hesitation, he laughed and bought me a beer.

He said that song reflected his experience exactly. His customers wanted information, but by his not being with them in the directory, he forced them to use the information that his competitors provided.

He said that he has already placed ads in several independent directories (including a few of ours), and he planned to return to the utility directories as well.

James said, "My customers are telling me that they make decisions using the information in the directory. I'd be a (expletive deleted) fool if I didn't listen to them and give 'em what they clearly want."

Thanks James, this Bud's for you.

Search Engine Visibility back to top
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The field of Internet marketing is really coming into its own.

There is a science behind designing websites that achieve top rankings in the search engines.

I've found one book that is easy to read, easy to implement, and extremely well researched.

Search Engine Visibility by Shari Thurow is the benchmark by which all other guides are measured.

If you have a website and expect anyone to find it, you should get this book.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Buford needs to boil an egg for exactly 7 minutes. Any longer and it will be too tough to eat without teeth. Any less, and it will spill when he cracks it.

Unfortunately, the only time pieces he has in his trailer are three hourglasses. He has a 9-minute, an 11-minute and a 14-minute hourglass.

How in tarnation can he boil an egg for exactly 7 minutes using those three hourglasses?

How long will it take him to pull off this feat?

How to Build Your Referral Business back to top
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The success of any business depends on its ability to attract and retain customers.

To be sure, the Yellow Pages enjoys the highest customer retention of any media. However, it's not the best at generating referral business or word of mouth.

That's why this book is so important. If you're not calling on referred customers, you'll never hit the big time.

Save 50% - That's almost half off! back to top
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Kim Beales, TransWestern Publishing's lovely and talented Marketing Manager told me that she's offering a special to new national advertisers of (get this)

Half Off the rate card in 39 of TransWestern's Hottest Directories!

Gee, it seems to me like a pretty good way for a CMR to be a hero to his clients.

You don't even have to use a "club card" like at the supermarket.

It's a cool way to try advertising in TransWestern Publishing's Yellow Pages directories.

Little boy blue back to top
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The trouble with hiring an unlicensed painting contractor is that you never know what kind of trouble that cat might get into.

An unlicensed painter could leave you feeling a little blue.

Can't beat this with a stick back to top
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Have your YP ad critiqued for free!

Adams Hudson, the Grand Poobah of Hudson, Ink a marketing firm serving Home Services firms, is offering to prepare a complimentary one-page critique of any contractors Yellow Pages ad.

I don't normally promote marketing firms, but Adams offers consistently sage advice in his "Sales and Marketing Insider Newsletter" as well as offers some pretty good Yellow Pages and marketing advice on his website (www.HudsonInk.com).

With the permission of the advertiser, Adams has agreed to send me a copy of the ad and his analysis for use in this newsletter.

To avail yourself of Adams' largess, simply fax your ad to 334-262-1115 or send an email to Adams@HudsonInk.com.

I'm really curious to see his critique, so make sure you take him up on the offer.

Not exactly inspiring confidence back to top
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There's something about this ad that cracks me up, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

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I received my copy of "Comanche Marketing" the newsletter published by Matt Michael of the Service Roundtable.

In the newsletter, Matt made two claims that would improve the performance of a Yellow Pages ad.

They seemed logical, but I wanted proof. I asked two of the top researchers in the Yellow Pages industry for their opinion.

No more wrinkles back to top
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Lumpy, my pet gerbil was getting a few wrinkles, so I steam ironed the little varmint. Those wrinkles came right out.

His habit of sitting on the heating vent to warm himself is much more entertaining now when the fan kicks on.

Speak in your customer's tongue back to top
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He may be a man of the cloth, but he prefers leather upholstery.

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I had another caption for this photo that I thought was cute, but I chickened out on putting it in the newsletter for fear of offending anyone. If you want to see it, try the link.

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Buford and Festus attended the annual Grubworm Festival, and entered the "Leg Wrassling" contest.

The winner will be crowned "Grubworm King" and there's plenty of pride at stake.

The contest is open to everyone, so Big Bertha convinced several women-folk to enter at the last moment.

The contest rules require every contestant to compete against every other contestant.

Because of the new entries, wrassling organizers had to schedule 26 more competitions.

How many new participants were there?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

We'll select one entry to win one of the few remaining bottle-poppers with a year's supply of bragging rights.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name and mailing address.

Quote of the Week back to top
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If it doesn't sell, it isn't creative.
David M. Ogilvy (1911 - 1999)

If you wonder how I have the time to write this newsletter, you should check out Constant Contact. Their templates make it easy for anyone to look like a pro.