February 9, 2004
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in this issue
-- A Picture is Worth A Thousand . . . Turds?
-- This month's 5-second question
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- The Yellow Pages Bible
-- This Week in Pictures
-- Don't tell this pig that he can't fly
-- We've Got Dick!
-- Humor in Advertising
-- Number One with the Queen
-- Give your customers what they want
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

A Picture is Worth A Thousand . . . Turds? back to top
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So do the brightest minds in the Yellow Pages industry believe that photos of professionals is a good idea in Yellow Pages ads?

I was more impressed with what I was told "off the record" as the printable responses.

Here's the dirty little secret.

Advertisers tend to have big egos (to put it mildly), and featuring their photos in their YP ads will encourage them to buy bigger (and usually more effective) ads.

It's debatable whether the photos benefit the consumer at all. Personally, I believe that a good studio photograph incorporated into a good ad design is wonderful. Unfortunately, this occurs only about 10% of the time.

The overwhelming response was that photos in ads were a good idea unless the advertiser is particularly ugly.

No one offered a kind way to tell someone that he (or she) has a face better suited for radio advertising.

Here are some of the responses

This month's 5-second question back to top
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What's your opinion?

Should a professional services firm (such as dentist, chiropractor, or attorney) put the photograph of the owner or staff in the ad? Why or why not?

I'll pull the opinions together and report them in an upcoming issue.

Send your opinion to Dick@YPcommando.com

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Three friends check into a motel for the night and the clerk tells them the bill is $30, payable in advance. So, they each pay the clerk $10 and go to their room.

A few minutes later, the clerk realizes he has made an error and overcharged the trio by $5. He asks the bellhop to return $5 to the 3 friends who had just checked in.

The bellhop sees this as an opportunity to make $2 as he reasons that the three friends would have a tough time dividing $5 evenly among them; so he decides to tell them that the clerk made a mistake of only $3, giving a dollar back to each of the friends.

He pockets the leftover $2 and goes home for the day!

Now, each of the three friends gets a dollar back, thus they each paid $9 for the room which is a total of $27 for the night.

We know the bellhop pocketed $2 and adding that to the $27, you get $29, not $30 which was originally spent.

Where did the other dollar go????

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winner

The Yellow Pages Bible back to top
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Barry Maher is widely considered the leading expert on Yellow Pages advertising. He had been the top salesperson for GTE (a forerunner to Verizon) and has made a living as a speaker, trainer and humorist.

This book is funny, well researched and includes just about everything that the Yellow Pages publishers teach their people.

It's filled with practical tips as well as enough background information to serve both the novice and experienced advertiser.

I've listened to several of Barry's presentations, and he is as funny in person as he is in print.

YPIMA announces Yellow Pages Hall of Fame

The YPIMA has announced the formation of the Yellow Pages Hall of Fame (I'm not joking). The skeptic in me expects them to hand an award to the leader of an RBOC publisher who is about to retire.

In my opinion, one of the most influential gentlemen in the industry is Tom Feist. Tom and his lovely wife Roberta risked everything they had to fight for the right to publish telephone company listings as an independent publisher.

The courts ruled in Feist's favor in 1991 when they decreed that factual information (such as a person's telephone number) could not be copyrighted. Read more here http://www.feistpublications.com/aboutf.asp

The Feist victory had a greater impact on the Yellow Pages industry than nearly any other single event. It allowed fair market competition to break the monopoly. They are very nice people and run a top notch company. Tom is not in great health, and it would be a crime not to recognize him this year.

Please take five seconds and send a quick email to Christopher Bacey christopher.bacey@yellowpagesima.org at the YPIMA and tell him that "Tom Feist should be in the Hall of Fame".

We'll leave it up to the selection committee to do the right thing.

Read more reviews of it.

This Week in Pictures back to top
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Technology + Parenting = Perfect Baby

Hey Bob and Allene, congratulations on your new baby boy, Lucas!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I've put some of the brain teasers on my website

Don't tell this pig that he can't fly back to top
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The difference in makin' bacon and bein' bacon depends on how well you develop your God given talent.

The latest threat to telephone companies

We've Got Dick! back to top
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The Kelsey Group briefly considered using the slogan "We've Got Dick!" to promote their upcoming Digital Directories: Drilling Down on Local Search Conference with guest speaker and funnyman, Dick Larkin, The Yellow Pages Commando (that's me).

The conference is in Santa Clara, California, March 30-31 and will focus on the major issues where local internet search and directory publishers collide.

According to John Kelsey, president and CEO of the Kelsey Group (not pictured here),
"Local search is just about the biggest bone thrown to the Yellow Pages since alphabetical order.

It's like . . . way humongous, dude!"

After considerable deliberation and a lengthy philosophical debate, the Kelsey Group executive team decided that the animated drill graphic would better convey the subtle nuance of local information being "drilled" from search results.

Oh well, maybe next time. (sigh)

Digital Directories: Drilling Down on Local Search

Humor in Advertising back to top
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Advertising Tip #22

Humor in your advertising may not always have the desired effect. In the Yellow Pages, shoppers are seeking valuable information from reliable suppliers. Humor is rarely the best way to build trust and credibility.

But this is pretty dang funny!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Special thanks to the fine folks at yellowpages.com for this and several other contributions.

YellowPages.com

Number One with the Queen back to top
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We're Number One!

We're Number One!

We're Number One!

Oops . . . uh, never mind.

How to pick a directory to advertise your business

Give your customers what they want back to top
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When shoppers think they are taking advantage of a situation, they are more likely to buy.

If you don't believe me, look at all of the "Going Out of Business" sales.

How to promote additional headings to an advertiser

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Several concerned readers have inquired as to the whereabouts of Buford and Festus.

Festus is in a holding cell in Houston after an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction during the Superbowl.

Meanwhile, Buford got hisself a promotion at the Tyson Chicken Processing Plant.

He's movin' up from de-beaking to the chicken warehouse.

His new boss told him that there are 3 boxes of chicken parts that are labeled incorrectly. One box is marked "Chicken Feet," one box is marked "Chicken Heads," and one box is marked "Chicken Heads and Feet."

How can Buford take just one item out of one box without opening the others to know how to label all three boxes correctly?

Check Here for the answer


Want some free airtime? Send me a photo, idea, tip, quote or cash, and I'll throw you a link.
Quote of the Week back to top
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"Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all the time thing. You don't win once in a while; you don't do things right once in a while; you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit."

Vince Lombardi
(1913 - 1970) coached Green Bay to 5 NFL titles; won first 2 Super Bowls (1967-68); died as NFL's all-time winningest coach with percentage of .740 (105-35-6); Super Bowl trophy named in his honor.