December 15, 2003
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in this issue
-- No Bail Bonds?
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- 7 Step Wipeout Technique
-- This Week in Pictures
-- Definitely NOT a Zero Emissions Vehicle
-- Next time pay for valet parking
-- New employees
-- You don't want to face these guys in court
-- My wife won't let me baby sit anymore
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

A warm San Diego welcome to all the fine folks I met in Chicago last week while freezing (err . . . I mean speaking) at the Search Engine Strategies conference. I don't normally hang with the Internet Glitterati, but they were buying drinks . . . so I stuck around to be polite. Yeah, I'm like that.

If you know anyone who would like to receive this newsletter, please let me know. I'll hook them up.

Dick
Dick@YPcommando.com

I'm still testing a new email sending service, so don't have a cow if you receive duplicate copies of the newsletter, ok?

No Bail Bonds? back to top
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I received a letter this week from a subscriber in Australia about my piece on Bail Bonds.

Dear Dick,
What's up with you and the bail bondsmen? Is there something in your past that you'd like to share with the class?

In Australia, we don't have Bail Bonds. Maybe we can get them . . . they sound like a good group of advertisers. I work with more insurance agents, and would like to use that "Answer Line" concept. It seems like a helpful way to sell bigger, more effective ads.

How about showing us some ideas for an answer line for insurance agents?

Thomas A.
Sensis, Australia
=================================

No bail? That settles it, I'm going to behave myself next time I'm down under.

As for insurance agents, give this a try . . .

The insurance agent's goal is to get qualified shoppers to call so that he can qualify them for his service.

Remember, a Yellow Pages ad will not close a sale. It will open a dialog by getting a motivated shopper to call.

Everything in the ad should be designed to get the customer to place a call into the agent.

Here are some tips for designing an "Insurance Answer Line" :

There are not usually strong emotions tied to insurance purchases (other than the shock after seeing the price of the premium), so set up the line to become a resource center rather than a sales tool. Use provocative questions that increase the shopper’s anxiety which can be relieved with a free telephone call.

Don't include answers to the questions. Leave the shopper hanging so that she feels that she must call to get some relief. If you give her the answers, she might not call.

C'mon, wouldn't you like to know what the 7 words that guarantee the lowest premium are?

An answer line works best when it's actually a customer service tactic rather than a hard sales tactic. The person answering the call should be genuinely interested in answering the caller's questions.

If you start the relationship being a helpful resource, plenty of sales will follow.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
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At the Thanksgiving feast, Buford asked his 5-year-old cousin Sally Sue what they were having for dinner.

She answered him in a riddle because she likes to see him scrunch up his face when he's trying to concentrate.

She told him they were having her favorite meal . . .

You throw away the outside.
You cook the inside.
You eat the outside.
You throw away the inside.


What will they be eating?

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winner

7 Step Wipeout Technique back to top
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As you may know, I read everything that is written about Yellow Pages advertising.

One of my favorite books is The Wipeout Technique by Steve Hackney.

He's very practical and brings a freshness to the ideas that generate qualified leads.

You might want to read more about it.

7 Step Wipeout Technique

This Week in Pictures back to top
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My old friend Notre Dame classmate, Jim Hennigan sent me this picture.

I dunno, I think that this kid is going to be permanently scarred from this.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here's the piece I wrote about the invisible man. It includes the famous Zsa Zsa's mugshot.

The Invisible Man and Zsa Zsa

Definitely NOT a Zero Emissions Vehicle back to top
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Would somebody tell Mr. Jagger that he can't park his car here.

What's with the hair on the couple standing next to his wheels?

The US Marines followed my advice to catch Saddam

Next time pay for valet parking back to top
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Uh, I'll just wait right here while you go over and unlock the door.

I received this photo a while back from John Kelsey. Here's his free link for sending me something clean enough for me to use!

Kelsey Group Website

New employees back to top
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That does it. We've got to get more selective in our recruiting.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Have you ever seen the very first edition of the Yellow Pages?

You don't want to face these guys in court back to top
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I want these guys representing me ...

The real reason I was kicked out of the union.

My wife won't let me baby sit anymore back to top
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I taught my kid to bring me a beer every time a commercial comes on.

He's a good boy.

This photograph (along with many other great ones) sent in by Curt Wilson of Directory Solutions Ltd.

Here's his free link for sending me stuff.

Link to Directory Solutions web site.

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Buford always thought that he was an only child. He had been raised by a pack of possum near the Okefenokee Swamp.

It wasn't until years later that his natural parents let him come into the house and join the rest of the family.

Buford asked his father how many children he had, and his mean ol' pappy replied thusly . . .

"I have a daughter. She has as many brothers as she has sisters. Each one of her brothers has twice as many sisters as he has brothers.

You tell me how many sons and daughters I have."

Buford wonders why nobody in this darned family ever answers a simple question.

How many children does Buford's pappy have?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

We'll select one entry to win one of the few remaining bottle-poppers with a year's supply of bragging rights.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name and mailing address.

Want some free airtime? Send me a photo, idea, tip, quote or cash, and I'll throw you a link.
Quote of the Week back to top
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I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)