October 26, 2004
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-- The "Real Recovery" in Online Advertising
-- How to Out-Smart a Mega-Marketer
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- (hic) or Treat
-- Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater
-- This was Really Something to See . . .
-- Wipeout Technique Plus, Plus, Plus
-- ADP Weighs in on Verizon v. Yellow Book
-- Who Let the Dogs Out?
-- How Quickly They Turn
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

OK, I just made that headline up, but it really got your attention, didn't it?

The acquisition of a national premise sales force by a major search engine is the step that could bridge the local search gap. The search engines have focused their energies on technology, but somebody forgot to tell the local advertisers to show up.

That's because non-Yellow Pages companies believe that businesses BUY Yellow Pages advertising. In reality, YP advertising is always SOLD to the business owner.

This week's article is one that I wrote for Ken Clark's outstanding YPtalk newsletter, and it describes some of the major impediments that the kings of search have in taking their advertising model to main street.

However, most of those issues could be resolved with a few strategically placed zeros on a check.

By the way. . .
If you have trouble seeing the photos in this newsletter, simply go to this web site.

http://ypcommando.com/articles/10-26-04.html

You can read the newsletter as a webpage.

The "Real Recovery" in Online Advertising back to top Forward to a Friend
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The Interactive Advertising Bureau, a nonprofit trade association reports that Internet advertising revenues for the first half of 2004 topped $4.6 billion, a 40% increase over the first half of 2003.

I saw one version of the press release using the spin that total Internet advertising has surpassed the levels reached at the peak of the dotcom bubble. While that spin makes the release more newsworthy, it misses the real story.

Stupid is as stupid does. Let me tell you why . . . . . . .

Read the entire article.

How to Out-Smart a Mega-Marketer back to top Forward to a Friend
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Nearly every industry in every city has a "mega-marketer." You know the type. They advertise like crazy, have huge selections, lowest prices, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't matter if it's a carpet dealer, attorney, or window replacement firm. The "mega-marketer" is out there blasting his message 24/7.

Mega-Marketers often intimidate their competitors from doing any advertising. Intimidation is one of their objectives.

If you read Chapter 16 of Win the Yellow Pages War, you'll learn a workable strategy to out-market the loudmouth and spend only a fraction of the amount.

That's just one of the many easy exercises in this book that guide advertisers how to be smarter with their YP investment. Pretty cool, huh?

Download this book now.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top Forward to a Friend
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Festus and Buford were making fun of each other's accent. They asked Cousin Daisy, a native of Kentucky, to decide who is more smarter.

Festus says, "Loo-uh-vill" is the capital of Kentucky, but Buford says "Loo-iss-vill" is the capital of Kentucky.

Which one will Daisy say is correct?

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winners

(hic) or Treat back to top Forward to a Friend
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Now this dude (and I'm positive it was a guy) knows how to carve a pumpkin.

For my two international subscribers, on October 31, Americans disguise their children as satanic creatures, some of which are Disney characters, and send them to shake down the neighbors for candy.

Should the neighbor not fork over some "loot," the young hooligans vandalize his property as a gentle reminder for next year.

You may draw your own conclusions as to parallels between this practice and the Yellow Pages industry.

Which font should you avoid in your YP ad?

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater back to top Forward to a Friend
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Personally, I bought a plastic jack o'lantern at Wal-Mart for $5.

I feel like such a loser after seeing this.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We finally closed on my wife's vacation rental town home in Carlsbad. She decorated it and put several photos on her website.

Check out the photos of Deborah's vacation rental.

This was Really Something to See . . . back to top Forward to a Friend
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. . . until the trailer caught fire.


The last words you're likely to hear a redneck say . . .

"Hey, y'all watch this!"

This costume was a little too racy for the newsletter

Wipeout Technique Plus, Plus, Plus back to top Forward to a Friend
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Steve Hackney, a truly brilliant marketer has assembled a complete marketing system for small businesses.

I used to only promote The Wipeout Technique, his book on successful Yellow Pages advertising.

Now that I've read all of his other products, I can see that I was only focusing on a tiny portion of his powerful advice.

It's all worth a look.

Get Steve's complimentary marketing series.

ADP Weighs in on Verizon v. Yellow Book back to top Forward to a Friend
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Larry Angove (not pictured here) Imperial Commander of the Association of Directory Publishers issued the following comments regarding Verizon's lawsuit against Yellow Book.

"Many, including myself, suspected from the beginning that this lawsuit was more about competition than advertising legalities.

Now Verizon, in my view, clearly is confirming those suspicions. Apparently without regard for the yellow pages industry as a whole, Verizon has instead chosen to air, for competitive purposes, this bit of dirty laundry in the public through full page ads in major newspapers in areas where it competes with Yellow Book.

The newspaper ads contain cherry-picked, self-serving snippets from the Court's decision that, based on my multiple readings of the 15-page opinion, can only be characterized as malicious, mean-spirited spin inconsistent with the facts and plain language of the judgment."

Read Larry's complete memo and see Yellow Book's rebuttal WSJ ad

Who Let the Dogs Out? back to top Forward to a Friend
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Better give this gang some good treats, or you'll be stepping in their tricks all winter.

Do purple cows give purple milk?

How Quickly They Turn back to top Forward to a Friend
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Hey, I think I voted for that clown in the last election.



Now this is getting personal.

I wrote this back when the Krispy Kreme doughnuts were still hot.

This Week's Brainteaser back to top Forward to a Friend
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We had a lot of fun with Buford and Festus mispronouncing Louisville. Another city that is often mispronounced is New Orleans. Locals say "Naw-lins," or something like that.

However, one word is pronounced incorrectly more often than these or any other word in the English language.

Can you guess which word it is?

Email your answer to . puzzler@dicklarkin.com

The winner will receive 15 minutes of uninterrupted fame.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name and company name.

I draw the winner the day before I send the following newsletter, so keep voting until the polls close.


Quote of the Week back to top Forward to a Friend
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"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."
- Steve Martin




Bonus Quote:

"In real estate, it's location, location, location. In business it's differentiate, differentiate, differentiate."
-- Robert Goizueta

Check out the Brain Teaser Archive