January 26, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in this issue
-- The Super Bowl and the Yellow Pages
-- Guest Article
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers
-- This Week in Pictures
-- Introducing the all new Dodge Tornado
-- Driving Miss Daisy
-- Volvo Gets Down
-- But Chevy Gets Downer
-- Mars Rover Found!
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

The Super Bowl and the Yellow Pages back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In some ways, the Super Bowl is more like the Yellow Pages than any other event on television.

Before you dismiss me as certifiably insane, consider this . . .

More people watch televised football during the Super Bowl than at any other time because they want to see the advertisements.

Throughout the rest of the year, TV advertisements are disruptive and intrusive.

If you don't believe me, try watching TV with your 90-year-old grandmother during an onslaught of feminine hygiene, Victoria's Secret and Preparation H commercials. Trust me, they're intrusive.

However, during the Super Bowl, the advertisements are part of the event.

Did you hear?
Earlier this week, CBS announced that they had reached a tentative agreement with the NFL to forego the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl in order to show more beer and snackfood advertisements. At $2.3 million per 30-second ad, financial analysts determined that playing football during the 3rd quarter would cost the network over $150 million in lost advertising revenue. As part of the agreement, the teams will flip a coin with the winner being awarded 10 points and the loser receiving 3 points.

Let's recap . . .
Non-football fans watch the Super Bowl because of the ads.
- and -
Shoppers look in the Yellow Pages because of the ads.

That's the secret of "Destination Marketing" . . . The ads ARE the attraction.

Now, if we could just sell a 30-second Yellow Pages ad for $2.3 million, we'd have it made.

Guest Article back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rich Hargrave of Ambassador Publishing wrote an interesting article entitled:

The Essentials Of Internet Yellow Pages;
A Publishers, Advertisers and Sales Perspective

Things are finally starting to shape-up for the Internet Yellow Pages ("IYP") search model. Thanks to the recovering advertising market, improved technology, increased broadband use and an increased focus on local advertising dollars, IYP has become more popular than ever before.

The Essentials Of Internet Yellow Pages - continued

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You find yourself on a game show called "Let's Make A Deal." The game is very simple. There are three doors: door #1, door #2, and door #3. Behind one door is a million dollars. The other two doors conceal worthless joke prizes. All you have to do is pick which door you want to open, and you get whatever is behind it. But you only get to open one door. By simple math, then, you obviously have a 1 in 3 chance of picking the correct door and becoming an instant millionaire.

You pick a door. As soon as you tell Monty (the gameshow host) what door you want to open, he stops and says, "Okay, you've made your choice. Now, I'm going to do what we always do here on this game. I'm going to open one of the other two doors for you that I know has a booby prize." And he does so. Then he asks, "Okay, now, would you like to stay with your original guess, or would you like to switch to the other door that's still closed? You only get one shot, so do you want to stay with your original choice, or switch?"

Here's the question: is there any compelling reason to switch doors?

To be clear, there is no trickery, and Monty is not cheating. Furthermore, the money has not moved, will not be moved, and if you open the right door, you win the cash. Money is either behind the door you first picked, or behind the remaining unopened door.

Should you switch?

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winner

Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is my favorite book on Yellow Pages advertising. It helps anyone who relies on the telephone directories for customers to design ads that will have the maximum impact.

It's specifically targeted to attorneys, but the lessons apply to every Yellow Pages advertiser. I like that it's filled with specific tips that any business owner can immediately use to create advertising that is much more appealing to the precise customers he wants.

I've had the opportunity to talk with Kerry Randall, the author. He's a delightful guy who approaches Yellow Pages advertising through the eyes of a designer and an advertising agency strategist.

Get Your Copy of Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers

This Week in Pictures back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It only takes a few dim bulbs to taint an entire company.

No one benefits when dead wood is piled on the roses.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here are some other Yellow Pages books I recommend

Introducing the all new Dodge Tornado back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


We bought a new Dodge Tornado. It's a great truck except that it can't pass a trailer park without taking out a few mobile homes.

I update my Hot News often

Driving Miss Daisy back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The trouble of having a pet cow is that they want you to drop them off a few blocks from school because it's not cool being seen with you.

Do you know "The McDonalds Close"?

Volvo Gets Down back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I suppose that this is the world's safest low rider.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Why BAND-AIDs are so cool

But Chevy Gets Downer back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But this is the lowest low rider.


If my logic regarding pickup truck tires holds, the driver of this vehicle must be extremely well-endowed.

Check out my newest testimonials

Mars Rover Found! back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


(Houston, TX) NASA engineers sheepishly admitted that they “Goofed big time” when the Mars rover, believed to be investigating the “Red Planet” was found in a plowed field 20 miles east of Dawson, Georgia.

Mars Rover continued . . .

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford seniors:

What is greater than God
More evil than the Devil
The rich need it
The poor have it
and if you eat it, you will die?

This riddle was submitted by:
Kathy Dix
Managing Editor, Today's SurgiCenter magazine
Staff Writer, EndoNurse, Forensic Nurse, Infection Control Today

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

We'll select one entry to win one of the few remaining bottle-poppers with a year's supply of bragging rights.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name and mailing address.

Want some free airtime? Send me a photo, idea, tip, quote or cash, and I'll throw you a link.
Quote of the Week back to top
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Wealth is measured in how much time you have to do the things you want to do."

Patrick Finbar McGarry O'Dea (citizen of Bulawayo)


This note was sent in by my friend Jan van Der Walt, who runs the Yellow Pages in Botswana and several other nations in Africa.

If one of your reps is complaining that their accounts are too rough, I could probably arrange a temporary transfer to Jan's operations to help them keep things in perspective.

. . . just a thought.