January 19, 2004
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in this issue
-- World's Richest Beauty Pageant
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers
-- This Week in Pictures
-- Happily Ever After?
-- Dangerous Curves Ahead
-- Clever Marketing
-- The New Addams Family
-- The Natives Are Getting Restless
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

World's Richest Beauty Pageant back to top
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I was curious to know the impact that Yellow Pages has on the US economy.

To get the answer, I turned to Dennis Fromholzer (not shown here), Chief Egghead at CRM Associates, a consulting firm and statistical think-tank located in Boulder, Colorado. Dennis is the guy that all of the major publishers use to do their in-depth research. I’m the guy who tries to weasel that information from him for free.

Dennis told me that the
Yellow Pages influences about $1.2 trillion per year - 11% of GDP (Gross Domestic Product) or 15% of PCE (Personal Consumer Expenditures).

That kind of prize money makes the Yellow Pages the world’s richest beauty pageant.

It’s a beauty pageant because all of the competitors are lined up side-by-side for the judges (shoppers) to select the winner. No other advertising medium puts all of the competitors together quite like this. It’s the most competitive medium there is.

The winner (the company who makes the sale) is the contestant (company) who does the best job of convincing the judges (shoppers) that they have the talent (products & services) best suited for the task at hand.

There are a couple of significant differences between the Miss America Pageant and the Yellow Pages.

First, in the Yellow Pages, the judges make individual choices instead of reaching a consensus. You can profitably win one judge while ignoring all the others.

Second, each judge has his own criteria for picking the winner. One might favor a contestant's performing talent of tapping out the Star Wars theme using a pair of spoons while another judge is more interested in finding out how Miss America plans on achieving world peace. "I think we should all just get along."

For example, an insurance agent that is only interested in selling health insurance for family pets may safely ignore the judges who have no interest in the subject.

Not featuring your primary products or services in the directory is like trying to win the Miss America swimsuit competition wearing a muumuu.

It's possible . . . but not very likely to happen.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
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This week’s brainteaser comes from Vicki Welch. This type of puzzle was a favorite of Ben Franklin’s, but he’s dead so Vicki gets the credit.

How can you rearrange the following numbers in the grid so that the sum of any three numbers horizontally, vertically and diagonally equals 15? You must keep three rows and three columns.

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winner

Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers back to top
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This is my favorite book on Yellow Pages advertising. It helps anyone who relies on the telephone directories for customers to design ads that will have the maximum impact.

It's specifically targeted to attorneys, but the lessons apply to every Yellow Pages advertiser. I like that it's filled with specific tips that any business owner can immediately use to create advertising that is much more appealing to the precise customers he wants.

I've had the opportunity to talk with Kerry Randall, the author. He's a delightful guy who approaches Yellow Pages advertising through the eyes of a designer and an advertising agency strategist.

Get Your Copy of Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers

This Week in Pictures back to top
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Las Vegas has been working hard to improve their image.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Here are some other Yellow Pages books I recommend

Happily Ever After? back to top
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You can't overestimate the impact that a great visual can have on an ad's effectiveness.

I update my Hot News often

Dangerous Curves Ahead back to top
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Uh ok . . .

so what do you suppose this is an ad for?

Do you know "The McDonalds Close"?

Clever Marketing back to top
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An innovative pizza company paid panhandlers to hold their signs instead of asking folks for money.

They could sell catsup on cardboard and I'd buy a piece just because I like their thinking.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Why BAND-AIDs are so cool

The New Addams Family back to top
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Parental discretion is advised.

This newsletter generated quite a bit of mail

The Natives Are Getting Restless back to top
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I think that dude just peed in their soup.

My advice to Martha Stewart

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
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You find yourself on a game show called "Let's Make A Deal." The game is very simple. There are three doors: door #1, door #2, and door #3. Behind one door is a million dollars. The other two doors contain worthless joke prizes. All you have to do is pick which door you want to open, and you get whatever is behind it. But you only get to open one door. By simple math, then, you obviously have a 1 in 3 chance of picking the correct door and becoming an instant millionaire.

You pick a door. As soon as you tell Monty (the gameshow host) what door you want to open, he stops and says, "Okay, you've made your choice. Now, I'm going to do what we always do here on this game. I'm going to open one of the other two doors for you that I know has a booby prize." And he does so. Then he asks, "Okay, now, would you like to stay with your original guess, or would you like to switch to the other door that's still closed? You only get one shot, so do you want to stay with your original choice, or switch?"

Here's the question: is there any compelling reason to switch doors?

To be clear, there is no trickery, and Monty is not cheating. Furthermore, the money has not moved, will not be moved, and if you open the right door, you win the cash. Money is either behind the door you first picked, or behind the remaining unopened door.

Should you switch?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

We'll select one entry to win one of the few remaining bottle-poppers with a year's supply of bragging rights.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name and mailing address.

Want some free airtime? Send me a photo, idea, tip, quote or cash, and I'll throw you a link.
Quote of the Week back to top
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Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Josh Billings (1818 - 1885)