March 15, 2005
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-- Ad Design Contest
-- I beg your pardon?
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- Can anyone recommend a good drywall contractor?
-- Whew! That was a Close One.
-- We Don't Need No Educashun!
-- Sign of the Times
-- It's the Blog!
-- David Frey Reworks This Pest Control Ad
-- YPA Snubs Commando Again (dang)
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

Ad Design Contest
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Paul Venya, owner of TV Plumbing in Santa Monica, called me asking for advice on making his Yellow Pages advertising work for him.

Rather than do any actual work myself, I thought that it would be fun to have a contest and give a couple of iPod Shuffles to the winners selected by my readers.

Paul sent this horrible ad that had been prepared by his YP rep.


Click Image to see full size version.

I thought that it would be fun to have a contest to see who could design the best ad for him. Using my questionnaire for Plumbing Contractors, he indicated what he would want customers to know about him.

To make it worth your time, I'm going to give an Apple iPod Shuffle to the creators of the two best ads.

Read the Rules and Entry Information

I beg your pardon?
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You're getting a little personal, buddy.

A recent by The Pew Internet & American Life Project study found that 87% of Internet users who ever use maps or get driving directions do this online.

If you have a web site, it should include maps and driving directions where appropriate. Yahoo! Maps, Mapquest and Google Maps all make it easy to include links on your site.

Driving directions to Buford & Festus's trailer.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
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On his first day on the job as the security guard of a funeral home, Buford hears a murder through a closed door.

Behind the door, he hears people arguing in loud voices. He hears one of them say, "No, John, no! Don't do it, you'll regret it."

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Buford bursts through the door. What does he see? A dead man on the floor with the gun beside him.

In the room, are three living people: the minister, the funeral director, and the grave digger.

Even though Buford has never seen any of the suspects before, he walks directly to the minister and snaps the cuffs on him.

How did Buford know that the minister was the shooter?

The answer is . . .

I received a boatload of creatively wrong answers. For example, how many ministers do you know who wear a name tag? puh-lease!

C'mon commandos, it really wasn't that tough.

See the Answer & the Celebrity Winner of Ruben's Book.

Can anyone recommend a good drywall contractor?
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I'd ask why the classroom needs repairing, but I'm afraid that I might get my lights punched out.

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Speaking of recommendations . . .

I reviewed a couple of the top social networking web sites that combine user recommendations with Internet Yellow Pages.

Read "Social Networking and the Yellow Pages".

Whew! That was a Close One.
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Maybe somebody should introduce this guy to Mary-Kate (or was that Ashley?) Olsen.

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John Battelle writes one of the more influential blogs regarding search engines and their effect on our daily lives. He recently wrote a piece asking if Yahoo! would become the new Yellow Pages.

I don't agree with everything he wrote, but he does pose some very provocative questions.

John Battelle - "Is Yahoo! the new Yellow Pages?"

We Don't Need No Educashun!
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Uh, might as well teach them spelling while you're at it, too.

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Peter Krasilovsky wrote an interesting recap of his observations from the recent YPA conference.

He cuts through the BS and gets to the heart of the issue. Print is in peril.

Krasilovsky's report from the YPA.

Sign of the Times
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Note to self . . . avoid Joann.

It's the Blog!
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The YP Commando has a loyal fan club posting comments on the blog.

The Yellow Pages Commando Blog

David Frey Reworks This Pest Control Ad
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David Frey publishes an outstanding newsletter for local advertisers.

Although he focuses on direct marketing more than other media, he recently reworked this Yellow Pages ad for a client.

It's worth checking out his approach on this.

David mentioned that he would probably go through a few more iterations before publication, but he wanted to illustrate some solid marketing ideas for his newsletter.

David is the author of The Small Business Marketing Bible. It is without peer when it comes to providing outstanding marketing advice.

David Frey's approach to YP advertising.

YPA Snubs Commando Again (dang)
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The YP Commando News was once again noticeably absent from the awards ceremony at the Yellow Pages Association annual convention in Las Vegas. (sob)

Some of the more hotly contested award categories were . . . .

• Best use of black ink on yellow paper
  
  
• Best use of red ink on yellow paper
  
  
• Best alphabetization of business names beginning with "AAA"

This Week's Brainteaser
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Buford is a terrible speller.

He was workin' on a crossword puzzle that asked for a 5 letter word describing a redneck Mensa meeting.

As Buford was looking at the word, he noticed that if he took away the first letter, the word was pronounced the same.

Then, he noticed that if he took away the first, last and middle letters, it was still pronouced the same.

What the heck is the word?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

The winner will receive 15 minutes of uninterrupted fame.

I'll also select one winner to receive a paperback version of "Win the Yellow Pages War" by Kerry Randall. I only have a couple of the bound versions, but I offer the eBook on my YPcommando.com web site.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name and company name.

I draw the winner the day before I send the following newsletter, so keep voting until the polls close.

Loads of Yellow Pages Items in the YP Store

Quote of the Week
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It's unwise to pay too much, but it's also unwise to pay too little. When you pay too much you lose a little money, that is all. When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything, because the thing you bought was incapable of doing the thing it was bought to do. The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot - it can't be done. If you deal with the lowest bidder, it is well to add something for the risk you run. And if you do that, you will have enough to pay for something better. - John Ruskin (1819-1900)